hattedhedgehog:

Beardy kisses.

17 minutes ago - 705 notes
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hobbitunderthemountain:

image

i literally screamed at that

i am literal trash

6 hours ago - 217 notes
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6 hours ago - 1,858 notes
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constantlyfreemaned:

Okay, I’m not sure on the Richard ones… but that last one of Martin… I think we all know what scene that might be from and I’m already a mess just looking at it….

10 hours ago - 651 notes
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avelera:

snow-after-fires:

  • thorin and bilbo standing so close bilbo could lean his head on thorin’s shoulder
  • thorin and bilbo off alone together in mirkwood
  • thorin shooting that stag is obviously bad luck BUT IT IS GOOD LUCK TO MAKE OUT WITH A HOBBIT so obviously to counter the effects of bad luck thorin should make out with bilbo
  • i don’t even know what I’m saying anymore just bagginshield
  • thorin walking like half a kilometer up the mountain because NO MY HOBBIT IS TALKING WITH BALIN BALIN WILL SEDUCE HIM NO THIS IS MY HOBBIT
  • bilbo defending thorin in laketown
  • balin’s hand on his shoulder shows that he is 100% shipping bagginshield
  • just thorin whispering to bilbo
  • "I will vouch for him"
  • thorin’s utter love when bilbo defends him in laketown
  • just bilbo is so sweet and he gives thorin so much hope they are just so good for each other and it’s GODDAMN TRAGEDY THAT THEY DON’T GET TO BE TOGETHER
  • Thorin may have sent Bilbo first across the river but he went second, which means it wasn’t just a dick move to Bilbo but actually quite practical and he was right there to save Bilbo if he fell in
  • Thorin and Bilbo CONSTANTLY up in each other’s personal space
  • Bilbo looking to THORIN about whether to go with GANDALF to meet Beorn, meaning he puts Thorin’s regard over Gandalf’s request
  • Thorin giving Bilbo a little nod and Bilbo instantly relaxes
  • BECAUSE THEY ARE SO MARRIED
  • Thorin who has never relaxed IN HIS LIFE telling Bilbo to relax on the mountain
  • Thorin’s look of utter stunned love when Bilbo stands up for him
  • Bilbo’s UTTER CERTAINTY when he stands up for Thorin
  • Bilbo giving Bard the Arkenstone later in order to keep Thorin’s promise to share the wealth even when Thorin’s too gold sick to keep that promise on his own
  • Bilbo being an astute, clever, and supportive consort that we never get to see in action because fate and most of all Tolkien are cruel
10 hours ago - 79 notes
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was-that-a-pun:

reddpenn:

What about an episode in which…

Yes

12 hours ago - 18,719 notes
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laryndawn:

sheepishspace:

Today in: Sheep writes an essay proposal for a grade that has to be reviewed by a professor

SHEEP NO 

laryndawn:

sheepishspace:

Today in: Sheep writes an essay proposal for a grade that has to be reviewed by a professor

SHEEP NO 

12 hours ago - 129 notes
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12 hours ago - 3,600 notes
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overlypolitebisexual:

cat people: dogs are cool too
dog people: cats don’t feel love did you know a cat once MURDERED my MOTHER

13 hours ago - 133,549 notes
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You shouldn’t have done that. It’s bad luck.

13 hours ago - 262 notes
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While a liquid soap dispenser is very convenient, a good old solid bar of soap is a much ‘greener’ option, as it’s more concentrated and doesn’t require a plastic bottle. But squishy, wet soap bars next to the basin are a pain, and they harbour bacteria too. So, what to do? Young designer Nathalie Stämpfli has come up with a very satisfactory solution with her Soap Flakes soap holder. It takes an ordinary bar of soap, and shaves off tiny soap flakes every time you want to wash your hands.

While a liquid soap dispenser is very convenient, a good old solid bar of soap is a much ‘greener’ option, as it’s more concentrated and doesn’t require a plastic bottle. But squishy, wet soap bars next to the basin are a pain, and they harbour bacteria too. So, what to do? Young designer Nathalie Stämpfli has come up with a very satisfactory solution with her Soap Flakes soap holder. It takes an ordinary bar of soap, and shaves off tiny soap flakes every time you want to wash your hands.

13 hours ago - 201,265 notes
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evangelame:

having your favorite character be a minor character is like being a proud mother at a school play and cheering every time your kid comes on stage even though they’re playin the part of tree #3

13 hours ago - 189,365 notes
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rgfellows:

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.
However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 
See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 
He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 
So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 
Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 
The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 
And it stayed.
Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

rgfellows:

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.

However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 

See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 

He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 

So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 

Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

image

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 

The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 

And it stayed.

Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

image

13 hours ago - 215,474 notes
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iseeavoice:

therainbowgorilla:

qalaba:

iseeavoice:

A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”


Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”

human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors

#AREYOUSERIOUS

WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.

14 hours ago - 449,506 notes
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pandavalkyrie:

First ya’ll wanna fuck an evil clock then ya’ll wanna fuck the evil animatronics now ya’ll wanna fuck an evil triangle this is why abstinence education doesn’t work

14 hours ago - 27,356 notes
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- forth